My Head

It is a subject that we all deal with every day, but It’s a bit uncomfortable, so we use a multitude of terms – ranging from vague to somewhat specific – to talk about it.   The facilities, water closet, lavatory, loo, washroom, toilet, restroom, crapper (in honor of the inventor of the device), bathroom, head, john, powder room, can, privy, dunny, comfort station, little boy’s room, little girl’s room, etc.  All of these are used when we excuse ourselves from those we are with to either urinate, empty our bowels, or both.

I work in a public building and my desk is on the floor most used by the public – so the comfort stations can quickly become anything but comforting – due to odors, unflushed urinals, missed targets, and unwashed hands… you get the picture.  With that in mind, I walk up three floors to use a little boy’s room which is more likely to be clean…  Each men’s bathroom (none of them have baths) in the building has 2 sinks, 2 urinals (with a screen in between), and 2 toilets in stalls.

Recently, I was the only person in the facilities, and I was sitting on a porcelain throne, when I heard the door to the washroom open.  After a brief pause, I heard the deep, rough voice of someone speaking to themselves – in not too quiet of tones – “Someone’s in my head and it’s not me!”  I heard them use the urinal, wash hands, and leave.  Now mind you, there was another head – but apparently not “his” – so he left.

As I opened the outside door of the john (after carefully washing my hands), a man bolted from the wall across the hallway and ducked into the inner sanctum… finally able to be in “his” own head…