My Head

It is a subject that we all deal with every day, but It’s a bit uncomfortable, so we use a multitude of terms – ranging from vague to somewhat specific – to talk about it.   The facilities, water closet, lavatory, loo, washroom, toilet, restroom, crapper (in honor of the inventor of the device), bathroom, head, john, powder room, can, privy, dunny, comfort station, little boy’s room, little girl’s room, etc.  All of these are used when we excuse ourselves from those we are with to either urinate, empty our bowels, or both.

I work in a public building and my desk is on the floor most used by the public – so the comfort stations can quickly become anything but comforting – due to odors, unflushed urinals, missed targets, and unwashed hands… you get the picture.  With that in mind, I walk up three floors to use a little boy’s room which is more likely to be clean…  Each men’s bathroom (none of them have baths) in the building has 2 sinks, 2 urinals (with a screen in between), and 2 toilets in stalls.

Recently, I was the only person in the facilities, and I was sitting on a porcelain throne, when I heard the door to the washroom open.  After a brief pause, I heard the deep, rough voice of someone speaking to themselves – in not too quiet of tones – “Someone’s in my head and it’s not me!”  I heard them use the urinal, wash hands, and leave.  Now mind you, there was another head – but apparently not “his” – so he left.

As I opened the outside door of the john (after carefully washing my hands), a man bolted from the wall across the hallway and ducked into the inner sanctum… finally able to be in “his” own head…

Where has the Time Gone?

I knew that it had been a while since I last wrote, but I really didn't think it had been as long as it has.  It's not that I've had nothing to write about since that last day of 2013.  Nearly a year and 5 months later there is so much that could have been written about...

Here's a few of the highlights:

• We took Rebecca to BYU-Idaho in January 2014 for the start of her college career.  Sam was in town with her, so that made it easier.
• Our friends, the Wilcox's, visited us just before father and son began a 6 month across America run to raise awareness of the dangers of GMO - Genetically Modified Organisms
• Katie's companion became very ill and weak and, long story short, after convincing the doctor and nurse her companion needed to be there - she carried her down 3 flights of stairs and got her to the hospital - which probably saved her life.
• I was called to be the Bishop of the North Star YSA Ward on March 30, 2014 - after a very unusual call to serve.
• Laurie and I used the 2 nights I had won at Cliffrose Lodge in Springdale, UT to spend time in Zion National Park - hiked to Observation Point and Hidden Canyon one day and then North and Middle Forks of Taylor Creek the next - wonderful experience.
• Laurie completed the Sand Hollow Triathlon with her friend Colleen - placing third in her age group!
• Kevin hiked Mary Jane Falls with some YSA ward members after helping with setting up YW camp.
• Laurie did the 55 mile Ride the Gap in Parowan with her friend Colleen.
• Kevin and Laurie rode to the temple and back - about 23 miles - on a hot morning, Laurie on her road bike and Kevin on his 28 year old mountain bike.
• Laurie and her friend Colleen rode about 70 miles of the Panguitch 100.
• Katie returned home on August 6 - after a wonderful mission.
• Snow family reunion for a week at Lake Powell - which Laurie planned!
• Our family all went camping in the Uintah Mountains, which included the Upper Provo River Falls and Mirror Lake!
• Our YSA ward had a temple trip to St. George - session and baptistry at the temple, Tabernacle and Brigham Young Home, capped off with a buffet!
• Laurie and her friend Colleen completed the 100 km / 62 mi Goldilocks bike ride! - for women only.
• Laurie took and passed the MFT licensing exam!  Now to get the hours completed.
• Kevin and Laurie joined Dennis and Cindy on a cruise out of Miami to the Bahamas, US Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico, Grand Turk and topped off with a air boat ride on the Everglades!  Snorkeling, zip lines in the rain forest, games on board, nice dining, . . .
• Our family and some of the other Snow's spent Thanksgiving with the Brownings in Rigby.  It included clay pigeon shooting on our 28th Anniversary!
• Laurie was visiting her dad in early December, when a wind storm blew part of a tree onto the roof - so she engaged in some lumber-jacking!
• When everyone was home for Christmas, we took a nice, brisk bike ride together along the Las Vegas Wash and a few other trails!
• After a couple of fun bike rides with friends in January on Rebecca's and then a borrowed bike, Kevin got a road bike and started doing it regularly with Laurie and sometimes with friends in the very mild winter temperatures!  We also started doing Spin class one or two mornings a week at 5 AM!
• Laurie, Katie and Kevin hiked Gold Strike Canyon on MLK Day with Chuck, Brenda, Skyler and Sadee Stankosky - great hike with ropes in places.
• When Sam and Rebecca came in town, they and Katie, Laurie and I hiked Gold Strike Canyon!
• Atkin became engaged to Ruth Reneer!  We were there after they became engage to help Atkin give Ruth a temporary ring.  And we squeezed in a 34.5 mile bike ride on the Murdock Canal Trail.  We met Ruth's family and had dinner with them.  Atkin and Ruth visited us at the end of April!
• About 16 people from the ward did the "Tour de Temple" - 25 miles round trip from the chapel to the Las Vegas Temple and back!  It was a lot of fun.  (Laurie and I rode the trail the day before (at Laurie's suggestion) and swept broken glass off the trail... during the ride, I got a shard in my tire, just before a break, so I was able to get it changed and ride without delaying everyone.
• Kevin and Laurie drove to Lake Tahoe and joined Dennis and Cindy for 3 nights there and 2 nights in Angels Camp, California - hiking, biking, visiting historic sites, snow on our last day at Tahoe and snow at Calaveras Big Trees State Park, so we had the trail to ourselves!
• We keep doing bike rides at least once a week!

We have more adventures coming our way, including the first wedding in our family and some trips this summer!  We are really blessed and we enjoy being with each other and enjoying our family!

The Other Kevin

I had a sad, reflective experience today – I searched for the obituary of Kevin Smedley.  Yes, Kevin Smedley.

This morning I sent an email to a colleague in another department and he immediately called me on the phone to say, “Clark County used to have two Kevin Smedleys and I just wanted to call you and let you know that I appreciate you.”  He then told me that the other Kevin Smedley had passed away last Friday suddenly, from a heart attack.  He was 4 years younger than me.

I first became aware of the other Kevin Smedley in November 2006, when I came to work one day and my email account had been wiped out, erased, kaput – apparently IT couldn’t wrap their heads around the idea that two Kevin Smedleys could work for Clark County.   So over the years, we’ve taken each other’s phone calls and received each other’s emails from time to time.  We work at different locations, but we met each other once or twice, just so we could see each other’s faces.  But mostly we wished each other well and “hope you have a wonderful day” when we passed along emails and voice mails.

Kevin worked for the Department of Family Services in their foster and adoptions programs – work that I imagine could be very rewarding and, at times, quite heart rending.  He was interviewed occasionally and people I know would ask if they had heard me on the radio – “no, it was the other Kevin Smedley.”

From what I know of him and from hearing from those who knew him, he is a wonderful person.  I am sure he will be deeply missed.  I’m grateful to have someone who could be mistaken for me who was so kind, friendly and loving.  I hope I did him the same favor.

His passing, so suddenly, has caused me to pause and reflect even more on goals for the coming year.  I realize that my goals can be shallow and perfunctory or, with the reflection caused by today, rather I hope to add more meaning and purpose to my goals.  Make them something that can help me to really improve each day.  So I have decided to take some extra time and craft and measure my goals against the yardstick of “what if it was the other Kevin?”  Would I be happy and satisfied with the life I had lived?  So now, I focus to create better goals.   How do I want to shape and add to my life so I can be a truly better husband and father, a person who can help others in meaningful ways, a more devoted disciple of Christ?

I made a point to walk outside and watch the sunset for the final time this year – its brilliant orange glow on the clouds, fading to pink and then to gray.  Soon it will be the dark night.  I couldn’t help but think of the family of “the other Kevin.”  I wonderful if that is how the world looks to them right now – dark and cold.  I am saddened for their loss.  And yet, their separation is only temporary, just as I know the sun will rise again and cast light on this part of the earth.  Tomorrow will be a new day, full of possibilities, hope, work, play; and family and friends – both near and far.

So I end with a portion of the message I sent to those who thought they were sending “the other Kevin” an email, but it arrived in my email box:

Hello,

You have reached the other Kevin Smedley - yes, Clark County is lucky enough to have 2 of us . . .  I have copied him, so he got your message.  No need to reply to this message.

Have a wonderful day,

Kevin